So sad

Well, this will be my first difficult post and I’m sure it’s going to come out all wrong.

Last night was our home cell group meeting. We only meet once a month at this stage and have a great dinner and then a bit of bible study/ DVD / whatever. That’s all beside the point. The baby home that our church started was done so by one of the ladies in our group. She is also now in charge of the day to day running of the home, not an easy task as she also works pretty much full-time and has 2 young children.

We met at their house last night and she was in a bit of a state as they’d just got 2 new babies that day. Those of you who know PE will understand better but, they are 2 brothers, about a 2 year old and then a 7 week old. Here’s the thing, the 7 week old is white and the 2 year old has the same mom but a Nigerian dad. You know where this is going, obviously the mom is a druggie (living on the streets and AWOL) and the granny, who lives in Lorraine, can’t afford to look after the boys. She said that the day before putting the children into care, the baby had only had water all day as she had no money for formula. I don’t really want to get into a whole black/white issue but Lorraine is a very decent area, I have friends who live there. I’m not going to judge the granny as I’m sure dealing with a drug addict child (and all the baggage and heartbreak that comes with) is something I cannot even begin to understand (and pray that I never will). I’m also not saying that there’s a difference between white and black babies but I do know how almost impossible it is to adopt a white baby. These children will not be put up for adoption, well not now, as there is family involved but this is my big thing which I will never, ever understand. Why do children get born to mothers like that, where the odds stacked against them are so massive and the chances of their lives being a success, so small, yet there are so many couples – loving, stable, committed couples who are desperate to have a child and just can’t. Why, why, why.

I’ll never, ever forget when I worked at Bel Porto School in Cape Town. It is a wonderful school for children with lower IQ’s than normal. Some have physical disabilities as well, but not all. Anyway, one of the more severely physically disabled children was confined to an electric wheelchair – so she had very little use of her hands and was unable to use her legs at all. Now, this is what just killed me. She was born 100% normal, but was a “shaken” baby. She was taken away from her parents (too late of course) and put into care. A wonderful lady did adopt her but she was so severely disabled that she still needed to live at the care home and her mom would visit her there and take her home for short periods. At the time I worked with her, I was in the process of undergoing my first IVF. I struggled so much with the knowledge that here I was desperate to be a parent and yet, someone else who’d been given that awesome priviledge had abused the priviledge in the most apalling way that left an innocent child to suffer for the rest of  her life.

I know I could just go on and on and I try not to think about it all too much as it just makes no sense to me. All abuse, crime,etc is awful but I really struggle with child and animal abuse. I do know that I need to get more involved with the baby home. When it first opened, Ava had just been born and I was still struggling with coping with a 2 year old and a newborn and all the rest and didn’t want to think about other babies. Ava is now almost a year and we are in the position to not only assist financially but I need to get my life orgainised so that I can start to give of my time to the home as well.

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